On Motivation for Change

What motivates us to change our behavior? Let’s say that you have a problem with pornography, and that you wake up enough to decide to do something about it. What is really going to motivate you to start living a new way? There seem to be levels of motivation here:

Level 1 – you don’t want to change at all, you’re enjoying your sin.
Level 2 – you realize you should change, but you’re not really ready to do anything about it.
Level 3 – you realize you should change, and you’re ready to take steps to do so.

At level 1, you’re not going anywhere at all. You’ve been deceived by sin to the point where you revel in it, as Peter says, “having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. (2 Peter 1:9)”

Getting to level 2 usually involves some kind of wakeup call: you get caught looking at pornography by your spouse or roommates, or you lose a job because you came in late after another night of sexual excess, etc. At this point, you’re not really motivated to change; you’re just feeling bad about the consequences of your actions, and you know that you should do something about it, much in the same way you know you should fix that leaky faucet on the kitchen sink. However, the lure of sin is still too strong. It may take continued failure and loss before you come to the end of yourself, and reach out to God for his help.

Getting to level 3 is involves a conscious decision to make a break with your sin. You repent before God, and probably others, and decide to live a new way. This is the stage I am most interested in here. What motivation will get you moving forward, and keep you moving?

I have been reading John Owen’s work, The Mortification of Sin, and one thing he said really struck me:

“A man who only opposes the sin in his heart for fear of shame among men or eternal punishment from God would practice the sin if there were no punishment attending it.”

Owen’s understanding of our sinful hearts is dead on! For years I labored under this misunderstanding of grace. I tried to stop using pornography because I wanted to avoid the negative effects of this sin, but my motivation was ultimately legalistic, and those efforts met with failure. If I could sin all I wanted without any consequences, then I would gladly embrace sin. My heart hadn’t been set free by grace.

“Such a person has cast off, in this respect, renewing grace, and is kept from ruin only because of restraining grace. He has fallen a great way from grace and returned under the power of the law. Must this not be a great provocation to Christ, that men should cast off his gentle yoke and rule, to cast themselves back under the iron yoke of the law, merely because of their lusts?”

So what should your motivation be? “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. (2 Corinthians 5:9)” Living a life that is pleasing to God doesn’t come from our iron will to abstain from sin because of our fear of consequences, but rather emanates from practicing faith in Christ because we love him. “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)”

Only a motivation that is based on renewing grace will suffice. Having been accepted by God through the work of Christ, we determine to deal with sin because we are forgiven.

I would appreciate your thoughts and comments.